O, Lissan is a lovely spot and very well it’s known,
It stands in Co. Derry and convenient to Tyrone,
Churchtown is lying near at hand and somewhat further o’er,
You may find that lovely village that the folk call “Moneymore”.
Now if you come down Lissan way, in need of drink or grub,
You had better call at Kelly’s, for he has a famous pub,
You will be sure to find it, for he keeps good drink galore,
And you’ll see the name of Kelly, just a bit above the door.
Now Kelly has a famous cow, a springer too the same,
And he was looking forward to the handling of the cream,
Till he found her down one morning, and was very much surprised,
To see her lying helpless, completely paralysed.
He grabbed her quickly by the tail and found that it was slack,
Thinks he, it’s “slip-tail” she has got, and working in the back,
I’ll send for brave McCully, he’s a very useful man,
But the case it was quite baffling, the cow she seemed so bad.
Now Kelly he bethought himself of an old time country cure,
And hurried off to the Sixtowns, the same for to secure,
He had to race about a bit, which made his heart feel sore,
Till at last he was directed to a place called Tobermore.
Soot, rue and garlic was the stuff, the stuff for which he came,
Saltpetre too and butter for the blending of the same,
Likewise a little salt as well and a handful of goose dung,
To make the plaster hold on fast, until the work was done.
The neighbours heard about the case, and came the cow to view,
They wanted to help Kelly for he was their neighbour too,
McCracken he was early there, likewise brave John Cahoon,
John Conlon too and Matthew, and all in the best of tune.
Now John Cahoon the plaster made, and that with a big knife,
The rest kept well away from him, being frightened of their lives,
And Kelly then took up the blade to give the tail a score,
And they tied the plaster on to stick, as if for evermore.
But the plaster quickly did its work, and the cow got on her feet,
And Kelly took them to the bar and gave them all a treat,
So they gave three cheers for Kelly sure I think I hear them now,
O, they gave three cheers for Kelly, aye, and likewise for the cow.
George Barnett 