There’s a clever schoolmaster — retired for life,
From the noise of the school with its worries and strife,
Midst blotters and jotters, books, inkpots and maps,
And the trouble of training up other folk’s brats.
Who got from Belfast with a very tight squeeze,
Along with a bunch of the evacuees,
He arrived at Sixtowns looking hearty and hale,
And soon settled down amidst Labby’s green vale.
He felt quite at home being reared on the ground,
And started to lecture the farmers around,
On the right kinds of stock both for milking and beef,
And their slow farming methods which brought them to grief.
On good cultivation he oftimes would rave,
And showed them fast methods their hay for to save,
At subjects like these he would seem to be clever,
But n’er gave a thought to unsuitable weather.
A neighbour’s dun duck to his farmyard did stray,
And finding some crumbs she did stop there to lay,
Then his knowledge of farming was put to the test,
And it took him a week to discover the nest.
When at last he succeeded his grief it was keen,
As there was not an egg at the place to be seen,
His sister, a farmer, laughed out at the joke,
And told him beneath the moss cover to poke.
The eggs he discovered and started to watch,
As the duck at that time was beginning to hatch,
And the neighbour who owned her, her kindness to show,
To his small grandchild, David, the duck did bestow.
The ducklings came out and their number was six,
And they greatly amused him with head-wagging tricks
Till a rat came along and a duckling did slay,
Which caused him to worry by night and by day.
He borrowed a dog and he searched for a cat,
Tried ‘Rodine’ and ‘Romore’ upon that same rat,
But the rat did elude him and all he did try,
And oft showed its whiskers from a burrow nearby.
It took his whole household — their number was five,
To guard his flock for to keep them alive,
And his neighbours were greatly amused at the sight,
When the flock to the parlour were rushed every night.
The highway caused trouble, it passed by his gate,
Where he oft stood on guard when the traffic was great,
‘Make way for my duck’, he would constantly shout,
When the duck and her ducklings did want a walk out.
Good water he gave them and oft was amazed,
To see how they left it, the sight put him dazed,
The trouble seemed inbred and deep in the blood,
As the hated clear water and hankered for mud.
He says the whole lot he will quickly sell off,
And no more at the work of the farmers will scoff,
For they must have great courage and hearts that are big,
When they tackle the problems of poultry and pigs.
Sheep, horses, goats, cattle, geese, turkeys as well,
Their courage and patience increasingly tell,
Beside the crop problems and problems of weather,
Those folk should be honoured forever and ever.